what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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