Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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