i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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