The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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