She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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