An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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