But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
