did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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