Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
