Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
