I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
