my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
