using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
