Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
