If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
