my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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