dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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