omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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