I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
