This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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