Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
