Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
