this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
