oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
