I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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