So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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