Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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