his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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