i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
