Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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