Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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