What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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