You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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