Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
