When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
