jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
