If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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