K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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