we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
