That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
