I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
