She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
