jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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