Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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