Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
