She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
