Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
