If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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