Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
