Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
