We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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