what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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