I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
