Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
