I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
