You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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