ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need water and some morals
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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