I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize