I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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