Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
