I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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