we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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