in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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