So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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