How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
