lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
bring money and cleavage
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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