I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
