So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So vagazzling was a success
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
