is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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