can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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