you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
