so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
