mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
